Tra-la-la-la, la-la-la-la! No, it's not funny really - particularly when a job offer transpires to be worth somewhat less than the pixels it's written on - but things are on the up, the future is bright, and other such go-to phrases for the terminally underused.
Yes, a job offer did materialise far sooner than I had anticipated (which is to say prior to 2012), which was a rather pleasant surprise: an interview, a skills test, a second interview. Bonza. I even acquired a comfortable pair of slip-ons and an olive green vest (read: tank top) in order to settle into a comfy chair in a comfy office at "one of North America's largest producers and marketers of craft yarn" (they shall remain otherwise nameless; this isn't an exposé).
Yet it transpired that the nice HR lady didn't play by the rules, pursuing (unsuccessfully) my references without any notification whatsoever ("The email is bouncing" "Oh... Does this mean I'm getting the job?") and then sending me an offer in writing on the Thursday before a proposed Monday start date.
Cushty, right? Not necessarily: having stated my salary expectations at interview, I was rather disappointed that nothing further was discussed prior to an amount appearing in print - and it was an amount significantly below the typical wage for said job title (Web Content Coordinator) in Toronto. So I was left with a balancing act: the terms were, I thought, pretty poor - two weeks holiday seemed especially harsh - and the commute was a killer, but it would have been a job sharpish and Canadian work experience.
I assumed it wouldn't hurt to very politely inquire about the terms of the offer, asking for the "opportunity to discuss" a couple of issues I had. I was otherwise "very excited" to be joining the company (a slight exaggeration, but mostly true). As it happens, my request was a faux pas: Friday brought an email explaining that the manager in charge of such decisions was off until Monday, but that I'd get a response then. Fine, I thought, but Monday brought the whole affair to a rather abrupt end: "We can't do that. Thanks for your interest, and good luck in your career."
A bit off, right? I replied explaining that I wasn't actually withdrawing my interest in the offer - I had never suggested that in the slightest - and that I was extremely disappointed there had been no room for discussion throughout the entire process. Why would my stated expectations be met with a nod and smile at interview if the offer was always going to be more than $10,000 short?
But you live and learn. I'm happier to be continuing my hunt than to be traveling three hours a day to a job where I felt undervalued/borderline exploited (a true immigrant story). The last few days have passed with applications flying off to exciting-sounding roles at places like Roy Thompson Hall and the Harbourfront Centre, the disappointing job offer debacle signed off with a defiant cry: "I DON'T EVEN LIKE YARN!"
On a happier note, enjoy this seasonal gem from Funny Or Die: Drunk History Christmas, starring Eva Mendes, Ryan Gosling and Jim Carrey. It's loltacular.
